And now Ben knows about Death.
It's not really a topic that I like to dwell on, especially with a 4.5 year old. But today, Ben's hamster, Mrs Hamster II died. She was found lying peacefully next to her food dish, we're hoping she just fell asleep.
Ben dosen't know that this was the second hamster, about 5 weeks after he got Mrs. Hamster (the first) she passed away in pretty much the same manner. We didn't tell him, and I rushed down to the pet store and quickly replaced her with one who was very similar looking. (Slightly darker, bigger eyes, and was actually male but know one needs to know that) We've had Mrs. Hamster the second for quite some time now, and over the last few weeks I've noticed her cage giving off a not so nice smell (even with weekly cleanings) and she didn't look very good...I knew it was coming.
We decided that this time we would explain it to Ben. We told him that we had some bad news about Mrs. Hamster and that we needed to talk to him. We said that she had gotten old and sick, and that she wasn't alive anymore. Ben's response..."I don't want Mrs. Hamster to die!"
I watched the tears well up in Ben's eyes over a pet that he paid no attention to...but obviously loved...We said that she went to live with God now, that she is in Hamster Heaven. I think that was the hardest thing for him to grasp...since he was staring at the body of Mrs. Hamster still in the cage. Spirit is a hard thing for a 4year old to grasp...but he did well.
We let him hold Mrs. Hamster, 3 times actually. Ben didn't want to let go. Then we put the body into a shoe box and sent Daddy out to bury her. (Not sure how that will go with a foot of snow on the frozen ground) Ben wanted to help bury her...he really, really wanted to help. We didn't let him because of the outdoor conditions and that made him very upset.
Thankfully the baby was sleeping and I was able to give Ben my full attention. He needed me and I was able to be there. We built with some Lego for a while, and now he and his Daddy are playing Nintendo DS.
Aren't distractions wonderful.
We're going tomorrow to the pet store to get a new pet. Maybe...I'm leaving the decision up to Ben.
Goodbye Mrs. Hamster II
Labels: Ben, death, hamster, our busy family, pets
posted by A Busy Mommy @ Monday, January 11, 2010
7 Comments:
Awww Ben...I'm sorry to hear about Mrs. Hamster(or really MR. Hamster). At least your died in her/his sleep. My "Jasmine" hamster was electrocuted by the damn toaster.
You are a good mommy Jeni to give him all the attention you could to comfort him.
hey there nice to meet you- new follower here from MBC :)
Awe poor little mite. I know how hard it is to explain to a wee one. My daughter learned about death at 4 too when my Dad died. We lived with him to help out and he was in hospice at the house so it was very rough. Soon after that my dog I had since I was 11 died and then my turtle of eight years died. It was such a huge blow to her (and me!) to have three loved ones die within a year of each other. The amazing thing about kids though is their ability to bounce back quickly!
Aww, poor Ben. You guys did a great job with the explanation though.
That is so sad :0( Poor guy. Hey I haven't got the chance to congratulate you on your new little one. So Congrats! I hope things are going well and please take care.
Aw-- I am sorry-- that is a tough conversation. But you are a great mom and handled it well.
Sorry to hear of your loss Ben. I hope a new pet will cheer you up, and you have lots of memories of Mrs. Hamster.
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