My Sad Child

Have you ever broken your kids heart? Made him cry, caused him to have a sad day? Well, that was my day today. Last night when I put my little guy to bed, he was excited cause my bff was supposed to bring her little boy over to play the next morning. When I talked to my BFF, I realized that her little guy was spending today with his Dad. So, I had to break the bad news to my little guy this morning. Broken Heart #1

That was so difficult to do...cause my little guy had a surprise ready for me when I woke up! He had written I Love Mom on his chalk board this morning....he's not even 4.

So, my BFF came over, and my little guy was very well behaved, totally out of charector for him, but alas...he was a good boy. We headed out to the dollar store to pick up some last minute easter basket fillers (very hard to do with child in toe) and to the grocery store for a few things. When we arrived back at home, the next door neighbours kids were outside playing. Ben wanted to go play sooooooooooo bad, but mommy had to go to work. Since I'm not yet prepared to allow him to play outside without my supervision, (again, he's not even 4) and I had to get ready to go work, in the house he came, tears and all. Broken Heart #2.

Then we come to work...he comes to work with me on occasion, just until Daddy gets off work and picks him up (about 2 hours) usually he watches TV or plays on the computer. Today, there were a couple of retired fella's here, playing crib. Once again he wanted to be included, he wanted a turn to play...but these guy's don't have the patients to play with an almost 4 year old. So, I had to carry him away from the table. He was so sad....all he wanted to do was play. Broken Heart #3

The bad thing is, I can't even make it up to him tomorrow. I have to work a 12 hour shift, 10 am to 10 pm. I've asked his Dad to try and make sure he has a fun evening tonight, and to get him outside playing tomorrow, and I have my fingers crossed that Ben is giggling his little bum off right now. But after a long day at work, chance are Daddy bigger bum has found it's way to the recliner, and Ben is watching TV or playing video games.

I can't say that I have ever before looked forward to losing my job...but I've known for a while that my full time job will be over early this summer. I have my fingers crossed that I will be able to find a way to stay home...it's Ben's last year before school, it's his last year being My Baby...I need to stay home with him, for both myself, and for him...He needs his Mommy.

I don't want to break his heart anymore....