Dear Hubby...

First of all my dear hubby, I love you very much...but we have a few things that we need to chat about. Nothing big, no huge issues...there are just a few things I need to clarify.

1. Please stop leaving your wiskers in the sink...I know it's so hard to rinse them out, but a toothpaste and wiskers stew is not something that I or your son, like to wake up to.

2. Please stop cooking. I know you love to cook and experiment, but #1 11:30pm is NOT the time to do this, and #2 "I cooked, you clean" does not work in this house...no one but me cleans when I cook! OH, and your idol, you know that chef on TV, I bet he cleans up after himself.

3. The next time you think you'll help out by doing some laundry...Don't. nuff said.

4. Thank you for all the work you did last night putting our new fridge together, the fridge looks great! Did you know it took me longer to clean up your mess then it did for you to make it!

5. Your nasty work clothes belong in your hamper. Not mine, and not your son's and most definitely not on the floor. There is a reason you have your own, I like to keep our clothes grease free.

6. "I'm trying to relax" are bad words in this house, the day we decided to have kids is the day you gave up your right to relax. And besides, I haven't relaxed in 4 years, you do it daily, how fair is that?

7. Hiding in the bedroom after work is not acceptable behavior!

8. You know those big sliding doors when you first walk into the house, that is a closet, c-l-o-s-e-t. It's a neat little invention, designed to contain your hat, coat and shoes! I know, it sounds too good to be true but it is there, and yes, we are lucky enough to have not one, but 5 or 6. Could you please get lessons on how to use a coat hanger (if you don't know what this is, google it, I'm sure you'll find a detailed description) The back of the coach is not the designated coat drop!

9. Taking out the Garbage is YOUR JOB! And it is the only one I ask of you. And guess what, tonight is garbage night! Your first shift! Are you as excited as I am?

10. When I do decide to ask you to help me out with a household chore, please do not do it completely ass backwards so I never ask you again...just do it.

11. After I've done all of this, gone to work, raised, played with, bathed and fed your child, please do not wake me up at 2am for a little fun...because you will be disappointed.

As I said before, I do love you very much! But you have a few, hmmm, what shall we call them...lazy attributes that I just can't take anymore. Do I need to call your mom and get her to retrain you? I'm sure she'll help.