The New Neighbours

Yesterday I had my first experience with the New Neighbours. And I have to say, it started out on a very negative note. First of all, let me explain a little.

The apartment that we've rented is a Top/Bottom duplex, with us renting the top, and a couple about retirement age living downstairs...they've lived down there for 16 years. So far, all the times I've gone to clean, their car hasn't been in their driveway, so I hadn't yet gone down to introduce myself. When I first signed the lease, the landlord said that he had to evict that last family because they made too much noise. (Though he didn't clarify just what kind of noise was the problem)

So, here is how it went:

Ding Dong....

Me: Hi there, How are you!
Him: Not Very Good...I just went through 6months of Hell, listening to a Kid running from room to room every day, all day.
Me: Well sir, I'm sorry about that. I do have a 4 year old son, and they do tend to be active. Right now, there is room to run as we haven't moved our furniture in yet. We'll do our best to keep it down.
Him: I just can't do this again. (He was actually shaking) We got that last people evicted because there was constant noise. I can't do this again.
Me: I assure you sir, we'll do our best.
Me: Ben, Come Here~Can you say Hi! This is our new neighbour! He just came up to let us know that its really loud downstairs when your running from room to room. Do you think we try not to run so much.
Ben: Yes Mom.
Me: Ok, Sir, Have a great day, Bye Bye.
Him: Bye Bye.
Door Closes
Me: #@#$%$#$%^&^&&%^$%$%^&&&^%^ (I'm sure you can all figure that out)

So, I walk through the house, slightly pissed off. A little mad that the landlord didn't explain this all to me, and frustrated because I was so excited about such a great deal. Then I just thought to myself, it's time to bring out the people skills. 15 years of waitressing and customer service has taught me a lot, including a sentence that I've lived by my whole life...."Kill'em with Kindness"

When I was working in restaurants, I would have to deal with people of every different mood and temperment all day, every day. So, If I can make those people leave smiling, I can make this cranky couple down stairs smile too.

Since it was only the man who came upstairs, I decided that I needed to go speak to the wife, find out the real story about the people who lived there before, and just what all the problems were. I wanted to go with a positive attitude, offering a little "give and take" type thing.

So Ben and I put out boots and coats on, and head downstairs.

Now, this conversation went much better. I learned that who ever lived upstairs were not willing to try, they had no respect for this couple who had lived there for many years. After 16 years in the apartment, I can see that this is their home, not a temporary until something better comes along. Do I think they should live downstairs....NO. Not if kids running on your head is an issue, but I can't change that either.

So the wife filled me in on the Hell that they did go through...and I agree, it probably was hell. When the child was being really noisy, and it was bothering her, she would call up (I have no idea how often this happened, or for how much noise) When the Mom who lived their previous would get off the phone, she herself would jump up and down just to piss them off more. In the middle of the night, they would flush the toiled 3 times in a row, just to get the water running. (You can hear the water going through the pipes) They had constant company, people in and out all the time (none of the neighbours business, but can still be noisy). There was a blatant disrespect for their surroundings.

So, what I said was..."I understand that when people are running and jumping off furniture, it is very loud down here. I will do my best to help avoid any situations are really frustrating for you. But I'll need your help too. Ben is four. We will have a "no running in the house rule" (I wasn't allowed to run in the house as a kid) but it's going to take a week or two for him to get used to this new rule. By the time we were finished chatting, they were smiling and I was fairly confident that we should be able to work past this.

Now...many people would say, that we have just as much right to live and be happy as they do. And I would agree with that, but at the same time, when we chose to live in situations where the are people so close, we need to try to respect the others right to live comfy as well. So, I am taking this as a learning and growing experience. Ben has never has a lot of rules about proper indoor behavior, and with school coming in the next year and a half, it's a great time to learn. Also, I am not very good at getting Ben outside to play a lot, so I figure, a great way for me to keep him from jumping off the furniture is to get him outside.

So, here is our plan....off the kitchen is our deck, we're going to gate the stairs. As soon as the weather warms up, the main door for that will be left open, and the screen door will be closed. When Ben feels the need, he can go out there and jump to his hearts content. His bike will be there as well. In the yard will be his swing set, and luckily, there is a little girl who lives next door! (YAY!!!) I'm sure they will spend lots of time sliding and swinging!! About a 10 min walk up the road is a play park for young kids as well. This will come in very handy. Also, since Ben does not go to a playgroup, or have regular interactions with other children, we will go to McD's probably 2 to 3 mornings a week for "Play Time."

When it comes to things like birthday parties and similar events, I will give them a heads up, maybe even invite them, (so they don't have to hear the pitter patter of little feet) Oh, and when we first move in, Ben and I are going to bake some cookies and take them down. If we try...this will work. My big shocker was DH. Normally in a situation like this he would rant and rave about things like "I pay for it therefore I should be able to enjoy it" and things like that...and I'm sure if they are just "Complainers" that attitude will come back. But one of the first things he asked me was "I wonder where they like to eat, maybe we could get them a card and a gift certificate) Input my jaw hitting the floor here!! I think he had a wonderful idea, and I will definitely be picking up a GC to somewhere.

So, folks, I'd love some input. What do you think I should do. Have I handled it ok so far? And suggestions of how to keep Ben from jumping up and down all the time would be really really appreciated too!